Apology #262

Dear New Guy,

I'm sorry, but you seem imcompetent. It is hard to respect you when you make such rash, unthought-out decisions.

But then again, I'm not in your shoes...so even though it is hard to respect you, I'll try to be nice...as much as I can that is.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #260

Dear Work,

I'm sorry that you are not fulfilling anything other than my need to pay bills/pay my mortgage. Sitting here, waiting desperately for another project to be approved, is starting to kill me.

I'd like to say that I'm sorry for trying to find another job, but that would be dishonest.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #259

Dear Guy In The Shop,

I'm sorry that you are ridiculously stressed out...mostly because I told you to calm the fuck down yesterday and then you ended up in the emergency room thinking you were having a heart attack.

Seriously, I'm sorry that you can't get your body to run in harmony with you. Just a reminder though, we aren't curing cancer so you shouldn't get that stressed over work.

Just sayin.

Feel better!

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #256

Dear Co-Worker,

I'm sorry that I have been a bit snappy lately...but you do know that it is month end and that every other department besides yours has to compile reports that take at least a day and a half to complete?

Yeah, I don't really like to be bothered when I'm balls deep in a spreadsheet.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #255

Dear Cube Farm,

I'm sorry, but the best part about having an office is being able to close the door and drown out the incessant bitching that seems to be taking place every single second of the work day. Aim high, and then you too might be able to bitch about work behind a closed door.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #254

Dear New Guy,

I'm sorry that you seem incompetent. I'm also sorry that I can't seem to help myself from rolling my eyes after every single conversation we have.

Hopefully I'll get over that soon.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #252

Dear Alarm System Company,

I'm sorry that you had to be here first thing Monday morning. I'm mostly sorry though that your being here caused the alarm to been constantly and for a ridiculously long amount of time before anyone had ingested any hint of caffine.

You suck.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #247

Dear Jango,

I'm sorry, but why do you think I need to listen to smooth jazz today? That's definitely not helping with my headache...or with other people's opinions of me today.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #244

Dear Front Office Chick,

I'm sorry that you seem to think that wearing spandex pants and/or leggings is ok just because they are black. They are NOT ok. Even if you were a size 2, they would not be ok...and honey, you are far from being in that size 2. Please do us all a favor and burn them when you get home.

Sincerely, Me

Apology #242

Dear Guys In The Shop,

I'm sorry that you didn't realize you were cutting an active water pipe and then ended up with a flood on your hands. I am not sorry, however, that we had to stay here sans accessbile toilets until you fixed your mistake.

Sincerely, Me

Apology #237

Dear Mechanical Engineer In My Office,

I'm sorry that you love to maintain such a wall around you so that no one here even knows that your wife is pregnant with your second child. That is something to celebrate, even for a jerk like you. I only know because you will talk with your friends and family about it when they call during the day and you talk loud enough that people can deduce what you are discussing even through a closed door.

I pray that your children turn out somewhat well adjusted.

Sincerely, Me

Apology #233

Dear Work,

I'm sorry that I'm applying for new jobs during business hours, using your computer and your internet connection. If only you actually had something for me to do! I know I shouldn't complain about that, but unlike a vast majority of people, I actually like to be busy during work hours instead of pretending to be busy...makes the day go by faster. S

incerely, Me

Apology #222

Dear Month Of March, I'm sorry that you are one of the snowiest months in this part of the world and that you are not quite living up to your reputation. I would like just one good snow storm that gives me a reason to stay at home...c'mon and knock the power out at the office so we HAVE to shut down...just make sure that my neighborhood remains nice and toasty! Sincerely, Me

Apology #220

Dear Guy In My Office, I'm sorry that you are feeling depressed and have had the thought run across your mind that you have nothing to live for. But I am happy that I got a laugh and a smile out of you when I reminded you that you do, in fact, have something to live for...your dog. Since that ball of fur won't live with anyone else, I'm thinking you're plenty needed! Sincerely, Me

Apology #218

Dear Guy Interviewing In The Next Room Right Now, I'm sorry if you get a job here. Maybe you will like it, but the intelligence level seems to be so low some days that if you have any sort of brain, you will want to walk away. Totally understandable. Sincerely, Me

Apology #215

Dear Current Job, I'm sorry that I use my time with you to search for new opportunities. Luckily I am able to work fast so I still look like I'm being productive. Sincerely, Me

Apology #211

Dear Job Hunting In A Different State, I'm sorry, but you suck. Sincerely, Me

Apology #207

Dear Mom, I'm sorry that you are sick and had to stay home from work. Really though, I'm sorry that you called me in the middle of the day when you were bored and wanted to talk when I was actually busy for the first time in months. I guess it is sort of payback for the times I have called you when you are at work. Maybe we should try calling each other at night like normal people =) Sincerely, Me

Apology #198

Dear EU Co-Worker Here This Week, I'm sorry, but I can't seem to focus on my actual work with you constantly interrputing me, asking me how to use the phone for the 5th time, demanding that I redo an organizational chart because you can't remember names, and/or just asking me how life is going when I can't understand you due to your thick accent and scary windburned face. Sincerely, Me

Apology #190

Dear Friend Who Didn't Get That Job, I'm sorry that you didn't get the job you had hoped for, but knowing and understanding what has been going on in your life the past few months, maybe it is a good thing...for now. Please don't give up though!!! Sincerely, Me