Apology #258

Dear US Postal Service Office,

I'm sorry that I just assumed that you would be open at 8am like the rest of civilization...I mean, today is a workday.

I guess I have to go back and fight in the trenches to send my package off in the mail.

Why do you have to make everything so difficult?

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #253

Dear The Word: "Snarky",

I'm sorry, but I believe that you are over used and misunderstood.

Therefore, I hate you and try like the dickens not to use you. I'm actually ashamed that I used you here...never again...never again.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #249

Dear Douchebag Engineer That No Longer Works In This Office,

I'm sorry that you feel the need to hit "reply all" to a message that was sent to you earlier this morning, and then proceed to delete my email address from the "To" line.

What are you, 12? Last time I checked, you were rapidly approaching 40.

Grow up.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #231

Dear Mom and Dad, I'm sorry that my brother, your son, does not think about your feelings. I know that someday he will look back on this past 10 year period and wonder what happened and probably blame some external force instead of thinking about the things he did and how he could have changed them. I guess that if it is any consolation, at least you still have me. Sincerely, Me

Apology #198

Dear EU Co-Worker Here This Week, I'm sorry, but I can't seem to focus on my actual work with you constantly interrputing me, asking me how to use the phone for the 5th time, demanding that I redo an organizational chart because you can't remember names, and/or just asking me how life is going when I can't understand you due to your thick accent and scary windburned face. Sincerely, Me

Apology #13

Dear People Who Can't Distinguish Between Faith & Religion,

I'm sorry that I cannot debate with you anymore.  Unfortunately you are unable to separate what true faith is vs. a building/ceremonies/chants/songs/someone telling you that you are going to hell even if you are one of the best people on the face of the earth (ie. religion).

True faith doesn't live in a building and I'm sorry you are unable to see that.

Sincerely,
Me