Dear Alarm System Company,
I'm sorry that you had to be here first thing Monday morning. I'm mostly sorry though that your being here caused the alarm to been constantly and for a ridiculously long amount of time before anyone had ingested any hint of caffine.
You suck.
Sincerely,
Me
Showing posts with label Jerks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jerks. Show all posts
Monday, August 29, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Apology #249
Dear Douchebag Engineer That No Longer Works In This Office,
I'm sorry that you feel the need to hit "reply all" to a message that was sent to you earlier this morning, and then proceed to delete my email address from the "To" line.
What are you, 12? Last time I checked, you were rapidly approaching 40.
Grow up.
Sincerely,
Me
I'm sorry that you feel the need to hit "reply all" to a message that was sent to you earlier this morning, and then proceed to delete my email address from the "To" line.
What are you, 12? Last time I checked, you were rapidly approaching 40.
Grow up.
Sincerely,
Me
Friday, April 8, 2011
Apology #239
Dear Cranky Police Officer In The Unmarked Car Yesterday,
I'm sorry that you deal with jerks all day long. I'm sorry that this has skewed your view of people...although, I can't say that I'm surprised with the caliber of people you must interact with daily. I'm also sorry that you were trying to block my way home yesterday, but did such an unsuccessful job that I thought you were pulling someone over in a weird way instead of actually blocking said road.
Therefore, no need to be an a*hole when I apologize for trying to go around your weird stop...but at least you sort of melted when I explained that you just stopping in the road like you did, didn't really signify that things were closed...oh well...at least you are there to help us when things go wrong. And thank you for that.
Sincerely, Me
I'm sorry that you deal with jerks all day long. I'm sorry that this has skewed your view of people...although, I can't say that I'm surprised with the caliber of people you must interact with daily. I'm also sorry that you were trying to block my way home yesterday, but did such an unsuccessful job that I thought you were pulling someone over in a weird way instead of actually blocking said road.
Therefore, no need to be an a*hole when I apologize for trying to go around your weird stop...but at least you sort of melted when I explained that you just stopping in the road like you did, didn't really signify that things were closed...oh well...at least you are there to help us when things go wrong. And thank you for that.
Sincerely, Me
Apology #237
Dear Mechanical Engineer In My Office,
I'm sorry that you love to maintain such a wall around you so that no one here even knows that your wife is pregnant with your second child. That is something to celebrate, even for a jerk like you. I only know because you will talk with your friends and family about it when they call during the day and you talk loud enough that people can deduce what you are discussing even through a closed door.
I pray that your children turn out somewhat well adjusted.
Sincerely, Me
I'm sorry that you love to maintain such a wall around you so that no one here even knows that your wife is pregnant with your second child. That is something to celebrate, even for a jerk like you. I only know because you will talk with your friends and family about it when they call during the day and you talk loud enough that people can deduce what you are discussing even through a closed door.
I pray that your children turn out somewhat well adjusted.
Sincerely, Me
Monday, July 19, 2010
Apology #12
Dear Lady Who Almost Hit Me,
I'm sorry that I was driving in the fast lane, going 5.5mph faster than the speed limit, with my lights on this morning at 6:45...I'm sorry that you didn't see me when you decided you wanted to go faster than the dude in front of you...and I'm sorry that I had to honk at you when you tried to side swipe me.
Maybe next time you should check your blind spot.
Sincerely,
Me
I'm sorry that I was driving in the fast lane, going 5.5mph faster than the speed limit, with my lights on this morning at 6:45...I'm sorry that you didn't see me when you decided you wanted to go faster than the dude in front of you...and I'm sorry that I had to honk at you when you tried to side swipe me.
Maybe next time you should check your blind spot.
Sincerely,
Me
Apology #11
Dear Guy who joined us camping, but who we don't really know,
Sorry everyone was so messed up on Saturday night...two full days of drinking will do that to you, especially when you are in the woods. Not sure what your issue was though and why you decided to fill the role of antagonist, but thank you for going to bed early so I didn't have to worry about offending you any more.
Sincerely,
Me
Sorry everyone was so messed up on Saturday night...two full days of drinking will do that to you, especially when you are in the woods. Not sure what your issue was though and why you decided to fill the role of antagonist, but thank you for going to bed early so I didn't have to worry about offending you any more.
Sincerely,
Me
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