Apology #259

Dear Guy In The Shop,

I'm sorry that you are ridiculously stressed out...mostly because I told you to calm the fuck down yesterday and then you ended up in the emergency room thinking you were having a heart attack.

Seriously, I'm sorry that you can't get your body to run in harmony with you. Just a reminder though, we aren't curing cancer so you shouldn't get that stressed over work.

Just sayin.

Feel better!

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #256

Dear Co-Worker,

I'm sorry that I have been a bit snappy lately...but you do know that it is month end and that every other department besides yours has to compile reports that take at least a day and a half to complete?

Yeah, I don't really like to be bothered when I'm balls deep in a spreadsheet.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #203

Dear Sibling, I'm sorry that I was worried that you would be upset by the gift we sent for you and your new baby. You seemed perfectly delighted and that makes me happy. Sorry for ever doubting you. Sincerely, Me

Apology #194

Dear Preggo, I'm sorry that you are having marital issues, especially since you are 7 months pregnant. I'm also sorry that I am constantly fighting the urge to say, "I told you so". Maybe someday you will get your life in order, but right now, things aren't looking too good. Sincerely, Me

Apology #18

Dear People WHO ALWAYS TYPE IN CAPS,

I'm sorry, but I HATE YOU!!!!!! Stop being such a lazy fuck and use the goddamn shift key for once in your life.

Sincerely,
Me