Dear Cube Farm,
I'm sorry, but the best part about having an office is being able to close the door and drown out the incessant bitching that seems to be taking place every single second of the work day. Aim high, and then you too might be able to bitch about work behind a closed door.
Sincerely,
Me
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Apology #254
Dear New Guy,
I'm sorry that you seem incompetent. I'm also sorry that I can't seem to help myself from rolling my eyes after every single conversation we have.
Hopefully I'll get over that soon.
Sincerely,
Me
I'm sorry that you seem incompetent. I'm also sorry that I can't seem to help myself from rolling my eyes after every single conversation we have.
Hopefully I'll get over that soon.
Sincerely,
Me
Monday, August 29, 2011
Apology #253
Dear The Word: "Snarky",
I'm sorry, but I believe that you are over used and misunderstood.
Therefore, I hate you and try like the dickens not to use you. I'm actually ashamed that I used you here...never again...never again.
Sincerely,
Me
I'm sorry, but I believe that you are over used and misunderstood.
Therefore, I hate you and try like the dickens not to use you. I'm actually ashamed that I used you here...never again...never again.
Sincerely,
Me
Apology #252
Dear Alarm System Company,
I'm sorry that you had to be here first thing Monday morning. I'm mostly sorry though that your being here caused the alarm to been constantly and for a ridiculously long amount of time before anyone had ingested any hint of caffine.
You suck.
Sincerely,
Me
I'm sorry that you had to be here first thing Monday morning. I'm mostly sorry though that your being here caused the alarm to been constantly and for a ridiculously long amount of time before anyone had ingested any hint of caffine.
You suck.
Sincerely,
Me
Apology #251
Dear Camping Neighbors,
I'm sorry that we were a-hootin and a-hollerin for most of Saturday night...well, when I say sorry, it really means that I'm not in this case because we had a crapload of fun and I didn't really appreciate your stink eye Sunday morning when you decided it would be nice to walk your three MASSIVE pit bulls by our camp just to tell me that, "gee, you guys had fun last night, huh?"
Yes...yes we did.
Sorry, but not really...oh...and I said that to your face too.
Sincerely,
Me
I'm sorry that we were a-hootin and a-hollerin for most of Saturday night...well, when I say sorry, it really means that I'm not in this case because we had a crapload of fun and I didn't really appreciate your stink eye Sunday morning when you decided it would be nice to walk your three MASSIVE pit bulls by our camp just to tell me that, "gee, you guys had fun last night, huh?"
Yes...yes we did.
Sorry, but not really...oh...and I said that to your face too.
Sincerely,
Me
Friday, August 26, 2011
Apology #250
Dear Broke Co-Worker,
I'm sorry that you had to give your house to the bank and now the fact that your husband is spending a few extra dollars on his car is giving you a heart attack. Not sure what snarky thing I can say...mostly because you have a 15 month old child at home and are 5 months pregnant.
Good luck with that!
Sincerely,
Me
I'm sorry that you had to give your house to the bank and now the fact that your husband is spending a few extra dollars on his car is giving you a heart attack. Not sure what snarky thing I can say...mostly because you have a 15 month old child at home and are 5 months pregnant.
Good luck with that!
Sincerely,
Me
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Apology #249
Dear Douchebag Engineer That No Longer Works In This Office,
I'm sorry that you feel the need to hit "reply all" to a message that was sent to you earlier this morning, and then proceed to delete my email address from the "To" line.
What are you, 12? Last time I checked, you were rapidly approaching 40.
Grow up.
Sincerely,
Me
I'm sorry that you feel the need to hit "reply all" to a message that was sent to you earlier this morning, and then proceed to delete my email address from the "To" line.
What are you, 12? Last time I checked, you were rapidly approaching 40.
Grow up.
Sincerely,
Me
Apology #248
Dear Trip To San Francisco,
I'm sorry, but we won't be making you next weekend...soon though, soon...I will be eating in your garlicy and fog-ridden restaurants after taking in your sights.
Until then...
Sincerely,
Me
I'm sorry, but we won't be making you next weekend...soon though, soon...I will be eating in your garlicy and fog-ridden restaurants after taking in your sights.
Until then...
Sincerely,
Me
Apology #247
Dear Jango,
I'm sorry, but why do you think I need to listen to smooth jazz today? That's definitely not helping with my headache...or with other people's opinions of me today.
Sincerely,
Me
I'm sorry, but why do you think I need to listen to smooth jazz today? That's definitely not helping with my headache...or with other people's opinions of me today.
Sincerely,
Me
Apology #246
Dear Readers,
I sincerely apologize that I have not aplogized for anything since mid-April. You see, things have been a bit crazy...and actually pretty good the past 5 months...so all apologies aside, I'm still sorry and I'll think of ways to make it up to you!
Sincerely,
Me
I sincerely apologize that I have not aplogized for anything since mid-April. You see, things have been a bit crazy...and actually pretty good the past 5 months...so all apologies aside, I'm still sorry and I'll think of ways to make it up to you!
Sincerely,
Me
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