Friday, February 25, 2011
Apology #214
Dear Dream House, I'm sorry, but you will just have to wait a few more months for me to buy you. Try to put off bad vibes for anyone else who looks at you, but if you can't, I guess I'll have to forgive you. Sincerely, Me
Apology #213
Dear Friday, I'm sorry that I was confused this morning and thought you were Thursday. What a happy surprise! Sincerely, Me
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Apology #212
Dear Crude Oil Prices, I'm sorry, but I fear that if you continue to climb, the global economy will be on the brink of collapse again. I'm not sure if 2% of the global supply is worth a $70/barrel jump...but then again, I like to be cautious. Sincerely, Me
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Apology #210
Dear Massage Therapist, I'm sorry that I cheated on you when we went to get a couples massage. I was reminded how awesome you are and how much I appreciate you...which you know since we left you a ridiculous voicemail apologizing for cheating on you about 30 seconds after we left our appointment. No more cheating! Sincerely, Me
Apology #209
Dear People At My Gym, Sorry that I have started to wear tighter clothes to work out in. I figure that they are more for motivating me to work out my flab than for you to stare at my ass. Good luck with that. Sincerely, Me
Apology #208
Dear Vegan, Gluten Free Friends, I'm sorry that I cannot make everything gluten free and vegan...but at least I now know that Crisco is vegan and something you can eat, therefore, helping me to understand that you can eat some non-healthy things...oh, and thanks for teaching me that you can also eat fritos...that, for some reason, is fascinating~ Sincerely, Me
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