Apology #229

Dear Endocrinologist, I'm sorry, but I think that you are fairly ridiculous in thinking that upping my workouts to 5 days a week of non-stop cardio is actually going to make a difference...adding one extra hour may help a bit, but it definitely won't melt that extra 25 lbs off! Sincerely, Me

Apology #221

Dear Doctor, I'm sorry that you felt the need to point out the obvious, that upping my workouts to 5 times a week, including the 1 hour of ridiculous cardio that I do each time I'm at the gym, will help me lose weight. Thank you Captain Obvious! Sincerely, Me

Apology #210

Dear Massage Therapist, I'm sorry that I cheated on you when we went to get a couples massage. I was reminded how awesome you are and how much I appreciate you...which you know since we left you a ridiculous voicemail apologizing for cheating on you about 30 seconds after we left our appointment. No more cheating! Sincerely, Me

Apology #204

Dear Primary Care Physician, I'm sorry that I feel the need to give you a lengthy explaination on why I would like to see a specialist when you are overworked and could probably give a crap about me seeing someone else for a change. Hope you don't get *sick* of me =) Sincerely, Me

Apology #187

Dear Tooth With Crown On It, I'm sorry that I decided to chew on a lollipop yesterday and that you decided to come off unexpectedly. Thank you though, for reminding me that I don't need to eat candy. Sincerely, Me

Apology #19

Dear Gym,

I'm sorry that I do not like you, but that we are forced to see one another at least twice a week.  Unfortunately for both of us, my doctor would like me to see you more often than that.  Let's come together and agree to disagree with the doctor...because the doctor isn't always right.

Here's to a much more civilized partnership.

Sincerely,
Me