Apology #209

Dear People At My Gym, Sorry that I have started to wear tighter clothes to work out in. I figure that they are more for motivating me to work out my flab than for you to stare at my ass. Good luck with that. Sincerely, Me

Apology #192

Dear Girl On The Treadmill Next To Me That Weighs Exactly 1/2 of My Body Weight, I'm sorry that I snuck a peek at your weight when you entered it into the machine, but seriously, don't you think that it is time to eat a hamburger or some bacon and get some meat on your bones? Sincerely, Me

Apology #43

Dear fellow gym-mates,

I'm sorry for the free flowing snot coming out of my noise while on the eliptical.  But honestly, what would you rather see? Cottage cheese thighs or allergen laden mucus?

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #19

Dear Gym,

I'm sorry that I do not like you, but that we are forced to see one another at least twice a week.  Unfortunately for both of us, my doctor would like me to see you more often than that.  Let's come together and agree to disagree with the doctor...because the doctor isn't always right.

Here's to a much more civilized partnership.

Sincerely,
Me