Apology #229

Dear Endocrinologist, I'm sorry, but I think that you are fairly ridiculous in thinking that upping my workouts to 5 days a week of non-stop cardio is actually going to make a difference...adding one extra hour may help a bit, but it definitely won't melt that extra 25 lbs off! Sincerely, Me

Apology #221

Dear Doctor, I'm sorry that you felt the need to point out the obvious, that upping my workouts to 5 times a week, including the 1 hour of ridiculous cardio that I do each time I'm at the gym, will help me lose weight. Thank you Captain Obvious! Sincerely, Me

Apology #209

Dear People At My Gym, Sorry that I have started to wear tighter clothes to work out in. I figure that they are more for motivating me to work out my flab than for you to stare at my ass. Good luck with that. Sincerely, Me

Apology #192

Dear Girl On The Treadmill Next To Me That Weighs Exactly 1/2 of My Body Weight, I'm sorry that I snuck a peek at your weight when you entered it into the machine, but seriously, don't you think that it is time to eat a hamburger or some bacon and get some meat on your bones? Sincerely, Me

Apology #187

Dear Tooth With Crown On It, I'm sorry that I decided to chew on a lollipop yesterday and that you decided to come off unexpectedly. Thank you though, for reminding me that I don't need to eat candy. Sincerely, Me

Apology #19

Dear Gym,

I'm sorry that I do not like you, but that we are forced to see one another at least twice a week.  Unfortunately for both of us, my doctor would like me to see you more often than that.  Let's come together and agree to disagree with the doctor...because the doctor isn't always right.

Here's to a much more civilized partnership.

Sincerely,
Me