Apology #241

Dear Gym,

I'm sorry I haven't seen you in over a week now. A part of me actually misses you...mostly because when I am able to visit you and get my sweat all over you, that means I'm healthy...and when I don't see you, that means I'm either on vacation (I wish!) or sick (super lame). Hopefully we'll see one another soon.

Sincerely, Me

Apology #209

Dear People At My Gym, Sorry that I have started to wear tighter clothes to work out in. I figure that they are more for motivating me to work out my flab than for you to stare at my ass. Good luck with that. Sincerely, Me

Apology #43

Dear fellow gym-mates,

I'm sorry for the free flowing snot coming out of my noise while on the eliptical.  But honestly, what would you rather see? Cottage cheese thighs or allergen laden mucus?

Sincerely,
Me