Apology #264

Dear Office Mates,

I'm sorry that I kept my door closed for most of yesterday, but really, you should be thanking me. Due to some unforeseen "complications" from eating soup with beans in it, well...I'm guessing you know where this is going. Let's just say that I'm sorry that things got a little smelly...but at least I spared you from the bulk of it!

Thanks be to whomever invented scented room spray. They are my hero.

Sincerely,
Me

PS
Smells from yesterday have completely dissapated and we will NOT be having a similar situation today...hopefully.

Apology #204

Dear Primary Care Physician, I'm sorry that I feel the need to give you a lengthy explaination on why I would like to see a specialist when you are overworked and could probably give a crap about me seeing someone else for a change. Hope you don't get *sick* of me =) Sincerely, Me

Apology #43

Dear fellow gym-mates,

I'm sorry for the free flowing snot coming out of my noise while on the eliptical.  But honestly, what would you rather see? Cottage cheese thighs or allergen laden mucus?

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #36

Dear Body,

I'm sorry that I assumed that you would be immune to seasonal allergies and therefore have been treating you for the common cold.  I'm also sorry that you decided to become allergic to the AIR all of a sudden.

Maybe we can get on the same page soon because dripping snot and coughing all day long aren't really my thing.

Thanks.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #20

Dear Heartburn,

I'm sorry but I do not appreciate you visiting me, especially when I am at work.  It makes me feel like some air traffic controller in "Airplane" or a live TV show producer who is a parody of him/herself.

Sincerely,
Me