Apology #264

Dear Office Mates,

I'm sorry that I kept my door closed for most of yesterday, but really, you should be thanking me. Due to some unforeseen "complications" from eating soup with beans in it, well...I'm guessing you know where this is going. Let's just say that I'm sorry that things got a little smelly...but at least I spared you from the bulk of it!

Thanks be to whomever invented scented room spray. They are my hero.

Sincerely,
Me

PS
Smells from yesterday have completely dissapated and we will NOT be having a similar situation today...hopefully.

Apology #234

Dear Uncle and all of his party guests,

I'm sorry that I had such bad gas on Saturday night. I tried to walk away from groups into rooms with open windows, but apparently that smell wanted to follow me.

Thanks for not saying anything...because it was embarrassing =(

Sincerely, Me

Apology #38

Dear Dog,

I'm sorry that you were sprayed by a skunk while we were gone and given two baths to help with the stench.  I'm also sorry that I gave you another bath last night and it appears to have made the smell even worse.

I'm triple sorry that I have to bathe you again this week with tomato juice since your grandfather didn't do that originally.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #1

Dear Pregnant Lady Who Uses The Communal Bathroom After Me,

I'm sorry for the smells that sometimes linger in the bathroom.  I know that they are terribly offensive to your nose and I do try to spray that awful orange stuff you left on the back of the toilet, but I think that this somehow makes things worse.

Sincerely,
Me