Apology #226

Dear Car, I'm sorry that I doubted you would pass your emmissions test last week due to your "check engine" light being on. Thankfully you were able to prove me wrong and I was very grateful for that =) Sincerely, Me

Apology #225

Dear Local Friends and Family, I'm sorry that we are going to play this one close to the chest and not tell you what our current plans for the future are. I would love to share with you what is going on and how excited I am at our current future prospects, but I would rather avoid you making a scene until it is absolutely necessary. I think that it is better for all of us if we continue down this current path of secrecy. But that doesn't mean I have to like it. Sincerely, Me

Apology #224

Dear In-Laws We Had Dinner With Over The Weekend, I'm sorry that we were not entertaining enough for you and that you had to keep looking over our heads and around us to scan the room for people you might know and impress by dining at a fancy-schmancy restaurant. I'm also sorry that you decided to order side dishes that were completely unnecessary and more than doubled our bill...but hey, that's my fault for not speaking up. Maybe I'll do better next time. Sincerely, Me

Apology #223

Dear Brother and Sister-in-Law, I'm sorry that I don't feel ridiculous amounts of love for your newborn daughter as of yet. I'm not sure how invested I want to become with your child since you only sort of started talking with me again after an almost 4 year hiatus. Hopefully the day will come where I don't have to worry about not loving my niece enough, because I already will. Sincerely, Me

Apology #222

Dear Month Of March, I'm sorry that you are one of the snowiest months in this part of the world and that you are not quite living up to your reputation. I would like just one good snow storm that gives me a reason to stay at home...c'mon and knock the power out at the office so we HAVE to shut down...just make sure that my neighborhood remains nice and toasty! Sincerely, Me

Apology #221

Dear Doctor, I'm sorry that you felt the need to point out the obvious, that upping my workouts to 5 times a week, including the 1 hour of ridiculous cardio that I do each time I'm at the gym, will help me lose weight. Thank you Captain Obvious! Sincerely, Me

Apology #220

Dear Guy In My Office, I'm sorry that you are feeling depressed and have had the thought run across your mind that you have nothing to live for. But I am happy that I got a laugh and a smile out of you when I reminded you that you do, in fact, have something to live for...your dog. Since that ball of fur won't live with anyone else, I'm thinking you're plenty needed! Sincerely, Me

Apology #219

Dear Leftovers, I'm sorry, but some days you are better than others. Today is one of those days where I wish your performance was a bit better. Sincerely, Me

Apology #218

Dear Guy Interviewing In The Next Room Right Now, I'm sorry if you get a job here. Maybe you will like it, but the intelligence level seems to be so low some days that if you have any sort of brain, you will want to walk away. Totally understandable. Sincerely, Me

Apology #217

Dear Cell Phone, I'm sorry, but you suck. You were cool for about three seconds and then newer, sleeker versions of much nicer phones came out and made you seem obsolite. Oh well...that's the price I pay for not wanting to sign a ridiculous contract right now. Sincerely, Me

Apology #216

Dear Tuesday Morning, I'm sorry that when I woke up, I thought you were Thursday. What a harsh reality to come crashing into. Sincerely, Me

Apology #215

Dear Current Job, I'm sorry that I use my time with you to search for new opportunities. Luckily I am able to work fast so I still look like I'm being productive. Sincerely, Me