Apology #41

Dear Spouse,

I'm sorry that I managed to scratch my chin sometime during the middle of the night and ended up with a nice scabby looking thing on my face. I tried to convince everyone that you don't hit me, but seeing as how I'm so accident prone and generally covered with mystery bruises, I don't think they believe me.

I guess I'll just have to prove my klutziness at work by tripping over my feet while carrying a steaming cup of coffee and landing on my face getting rug burn from the industrial carpet.

Or maybe just stop injuring myself (at least where it is visible).

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #40

Dear www.Regretsy.com,

I'm sorry that I love you so much and that you are now my guilty anti-work pleasure.

Someday we may have to work this issue out.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #39

Dear Work Computer,

I'm sorry that I rarely use you for anything work related...mostly because when I do try to "work" you crap out on me.

I'm glad we had this talk.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #38

Dear Dog,

I'm sorry that you were sprayed by a skunk while we were gone and given two baths to help with the stench.  I'm also sorry that I gave you another bath last night and it appears to have made the smell even worse.

I'm triple sorry that I have to bathe you again this week with tomato juice since your grandfather didn't do that originally.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #37

Dear Last 15 Minutes of the Work Day,

I'm sorry that I hate you so much.  You really didn't do anything wrong, its just that you have been placed in a very precarious situation.

No hard feelings?

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #36

Dear Body,

I'm sorry that I assumed that you would be immune to seasonal allergies and therefore have been treating you for the common cold.  I'm also sorry that you decided to become allergic to the AIR all of a sudden.

Maybe we can get on the same page soon because dripping snot and coughing all day long aren't really my thing.

Thanks.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #35

Dear Guests At My Brother's Wedding Reception,

Sorry Grandma said in an exceedingly loud voice so all could hear that my wedding was better.  It may or may not be the truth, but still!  And Grandma, I still love you, even after all of your bad behavior (who doesn't like a grandma with tattoos?)  =)

Sincerely,
Me