Dear Creepy Friend of my In-Laws,
I'm sorry I find you increasingly creepy every time I'm near you. Maybe it is the fact that you find it necessary to claim ownership of our new niece even though you are a friend or that you unintentionally make us feel guilty for not being able to "go shopping for her every single day after work." I don't know, but you are creepy. And by the way, that baby belongs to me by blood, so when I ask to hold her, you should give her to me no questions asked.
Sincerely,
Me
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