Dear Dog,
I'm sorry that you hate the cold weather we have been having and that you refuse to go outside to "do your business" without having a chaperone. Yes, I know that you don't have much hair and that you are skinny and have no insulation, but you can't go #1 and/or #2 in the house or garage so get out there in the snow and be free!!!
Sincerely,
Me
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