Dear Surprise Party Guests,
I'm sorry that you thought I was in charge of an in-laws birthday party just because his wife asked me to decorate. No, I do not think I can boss around the waiters for your amusement and no they cannot turn the lights off in this special room without turning them off in the entire restaurant...so please stop asking!
Sincerely,
Me
Monday, December 6, 2010
Apology #135
Dear Jobs I'm Applying For,
I'm sorry that I am applying for jobs when I don't currently live in your particular state. I would move before getting a job, but you know, that whole responsibility thing keeps getting in the way.
Hopefully you can look past my current geographical situation and call me in for an interview.
Sincerely,
Me
I'm sorry that I am applying for jobs when I don't currently live in your particular state. I would move before getting a job, but you know, that whole responsibility thing keeps getting in the way.
Hopefully you can look past my current geographical situation and call me in for an interview.
Sincerely,
Me
Apology #134
Dear Creepy Friend of my In-Laws,
I'm sorry I find you increasingly creepy every time I'm near you. Maybe it is the fact that you find it necessary to claim ownership of our new niece even though you are a friend or that you unintentionally make us feel guilty for not being able to "go shopping for her every single day after work." I don't know, but you are creepy. And by the way, that baby belongs to me by blood, so when I ask to hold her, you should give her to me no questions asked.
Sincerely,
Me
I'm sorry I find you increasingly creepy every time I'm near you. Maybe it is the fact that you find it necessary to claim ownership of our new niece even though you are a friend or that you unintentionally make us feel guilty for not being able to "go shopping for her every single day after work." I don't know, but you are creepy. And by the way, that baby belongs to me by blood, so when I ask to hold her, you should give her to me no questions asked.
Sincerely,
Me
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Apology #133
Dear Weight Watchers,
I'm sorry that you didn't adjust your points system sooner to help focus on healthy eating. Now that you have done so, maybe I'll lose more weight!
Sincerely,
Me
I'm sorry that you didn't adjust your points system sooner to help focus on healthy eating. Now that you have done so, maybe I'll lose more weight!
Sincerely,
Me
Apology #132
Dear In-Laws,
I'm sorry that I am a little weirded out by the way you have recently decided that you love me and want to continually tell me that fact. It only took 8 years for you to do so and now I'm not sure what to make of it. Guess I'll just take the love and dish it right back.
Sincerely,
Me
I'm sorry that I am a little weirded out by the way you have recently decided that you love me and want to continually tell me that fact. It only took 8 years for you to do so and now I'm not sure what to make of it. Guess I'll just take the love and dish it right back.
Sincerely,
Me
Apology #131
Dear Bitchy Waiter,
I'm sorry that you have to deal with insufferable people, but man, the stories they provide are pretty much priceless.
Sincerely,
Me
I'm sorry that you have to deal with insufferable people, but man, the stories they provide are pretty much priceless.
Sincerely,
Me
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Apology #130
Dear Co-Worker,
I'm sorry that you have not been able to concieve another child since having your first one in May...this, however, does not really give you free reign over what you leave, on display, in the bathroom. If I wanted to know your menstrual cycle, I would just ask you.
Sincerely,
Me
I'm sorry that you have not been able to concieve another child since having your first one in May...this, however, does not really give you free reign over what you leave, on display, in the bathroom. If I wanted to know your menstrual cycle, I would just ask you.
Sincerely,
Me
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