Apology #108

Dear Mother-In-Law,

I'm sorry that you don't like me because I am quite fabulous once you get to know me.

Your loss.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #107

Dear Pivot Tables,

I'm sorry that I don't know how to use you correctly and apparently can't save you...ever...even when I hit the save button constantly the changes I made never seem to take hold.  Why, oh why, dear Pivot Table, do you hate me so?

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #106

Dear Target Cashier,

I'm sorry that I had to come into the store all sweaty from the gym last night, but thank you for not having to do a price check over the loud speaker for the Miralax I had to buy.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #105

Dear Rice Cooker and Instruction Manual,

I'm sorry that I took your advice and only used half of the water I normally use for brown rice.  Subsequently I am eating dry rice...

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #104

Dear Political Candidates,

I'm sorry, but I think that your time and energy as well as numerous dollars would be better spent not sending me junk mail and hiring some phone bank to call every five minutes after 5pm.

You have officially made me not vote for you due to your harassment.

Sincerely,
Me

PS
Although the actual visits to my house would be a nice gesture if this was 1955, it is creepy and offensive when you pound on my door while I am lounging in the bathtub.

Apology #103

Dear Trick-Or-Treaters,

I'm sorry that your parents didn't want to take you out on a Sunday night to scavenge for candy, but kudos to the kids who stopped by our house because you got handfuls of delicious candy treats.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #102

Dear TMJ,

I'm sorry, but I hate you and the aches you bring.

Sincerely,
Me