Apology #104

Dear Political Candidates,

I'm sorry, but I think that your time and energy as well as numerous dollars would be better spent not sending me junk mail and hiring some phone bank to call every five minutes after 5pm.

You have officially made me not vote for you due to your harassment.

Sincerely,
Me

PS
Although the actual visits to my house would be a nice gesture if this was 1955, it is creepy and offensive when you pound on my door while I am lounging in the bathtub.

Apology #103

Dear Trick-Or-Treaters,

I'm sorry that your parents didn't want to take you out on a Sunday night to scavenge for candy, but kudos to the kids who stopped by our house because you got handfuls of delicious candy treats.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #102

Dear TMJ,

I'm sorry, but I hate you and the aches you bring.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #101

Dear Soon To Be Born Niece Or Nephew,

I'm sorry that you are being born to super religous people...but hey, at least you'll be able to visit with us and see the softer side of the world.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #100

Dear European Colleage Here For A Visit,

I'm sorry that you had a late flight, but I am not sorry that I asked my only friend in the office to cough in his hand before you shook it.  That's what you get for being mean to all of us =)

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #99

Dear Mother-In-Law,

I'm sorry that you and I don't get along. I'm also sorry that I am envious of those who do love their child's spouse, or at the very least, tolerate them.

I'm not sorry, however, that the next time I see you, I will not be listening to anything that comes from you. I will be walking away with my head held high knowing that you can't do anything about it.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #98

Dear Vegans,

I'm sorry, but I have to agree with this.  Unless you live like a hermit and make everything yourself, there really isn't a true vegan out there.

Sincerely,
Me