Apology #83

Dear Body,

I'm sorry that I kept drinking on Saturday night even though I had switched to water and our host mysteriously took that glass and replaced it with some weird brandy/irish cream/coffee/whipped cream concoction.

I'm also sorry that you were hurting from said "culinary" exploration from that night's dinner. (Pseudo Greek food that seemd semi-questionable.)

Never again body, never again.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #82

Dear Stutter That I Mysteriously Developed This Morning,

I'm sorry, but I'm afraid our relationship must come to an immediate end. Stuttering over the word "green" when I have never previously stuttered before is an abomination.

Let's say we didn't meet and won't ever have to look at one another again.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #81

Dear Sweet Potatoes,

I'm sorry I never gave you the time of day until about 12 months ago when you were the only starch available in the house.  Oh how I have grown to love you.

Here's to our love affair!

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #80

Dear Financial Gurus In My Life,

I'm sorry that conversations with me generally take about three times as long as they do with other people as I ask so many questions and have so many different things for you to look at.

But hey, at least I keep you employed and busy, right?

Here's to the next meeting.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #79

Dear Boss,

I'm sorry that I don't do a spectacular job when doing yours.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #78

Dear Cat,

I'm sorry that you thought it to be appropriate behavior this morning to vomit right next to my head, thus causing us to strip the bed at 5am.

I am not sorry, however, that I called you an a****le.

Cat = 1, Me = 0...for now.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #77

Dear Dog,

I'm sorry that we took you on a very long walk/hike yesterday that pooped you out, but I'm happy that you had fun even if you were fairly exhausted by the end of the day.

Maybe we'll go again next week so I can torture you some more =)

Sincerely,
Me