Apology #54

Dear Park Ranger,

I'm sorry that I felt immense pleasure by the fact that you were winded when walking up the stairs during our tour.

Thank God it wasn't just me!

Sincerely,
"Catching My Breath" Me

Apology #53

Dear Used Oil Recycling Center,

Thank you for not accepting any more used automotive oil for recycling purposes.  That really made last night's ordeal seem so appropriate.

Dear Car,

I'm sorry that the said used oil from above that I was taking the the stupid oil recycling center spilled all over your interior and now you are being detailed to not only get the hazardous stuff out of you, but also its smell.  But hey, at least you will be cleaner after the tragic oil spill than before it happened, right? 

So sorry, in more than one way,
Me

Apology #52

Dear Dept. of Transportation,

I'm sorry that you find it necessary to make some road repairs and then stop from doing the obvious ones that are also in your current work path (ex. repaving a road that is perfectly fine, but leaving the HUGE craters on the intersecting road that you did not pave...OR repaving the highway which, yes, needed a new layer of asphault, but stopping literally two feet short of the huge divot missing on the off-ramp).

Seriously, I know that we all hate our jobs, but I think that you can do better than that.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #51

Dear Discovery Channel,

I'm not sorry about my earlier comments, but no one deserves to be held hostage.

My thoughts go out to you.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #50

Dear "The Office",

I'm sorry I didn't fully appreciate your brilliance until quite recently and have now gone on an "Office" marathon.

I'm also sorry to those around me who do not work in offices that are uncannily like the one portrayed in the show and therefore do not understand my sudden outbursts of laughter.

I'm not sorry, however, to tell you to kiss it.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #49

Dear Spouse,

Although you do not know it yet because our anniversary is tomorrow, I'm sorry that I do not have a pen that automatically spell checks everything that I write.  I'm sorry that I had to point out said misspelled words, then rewrite them.  I'm also sorry that I was too feverish in my writing to make words legible.

This year's card will go down in the books as one of the sappiest and funniest cards I have ever given you.

Sincerely,
Me

Apology #48

Dear Co-Workers,

I'm sorry that I have garlic herb cream cheese breath today.

But it was so delish.

Sincerely,
Me